Last Tuesday, we had the privilege of having motivational speaker and psychotherapist Sean Stephenson speak to our entire team at work. I'd first met Sean several months ago after which we featured Sean in an issue of Bottom Line/Personal: "If I Can Be a Success, So Can You!"

Sean is not just your run-of-the-mill motivational speaker. He truly walks the walk and here's why: He was born with Brittle Bone Disease, and wasn't expected to live past the day he was born. He suffered more than 200 bone fractures by age 18, reached a height of only 3 feet, and is permanently confined to a wheelchair. However, this man took a stand for a quality of life that has inspired millions of people around the world, including self-help guru Tony Robbins and President Bill Clinton. Today, Sean, age 31, speaks to groups around the world. (Check out his web site to learn more: http://www.timetostand.com.)

I can't adequately describe for you just how inspiring a speaker he is. When you first see Sean, I confess that it's a bit disturbing because of the deformities caused by his disease. But when he opens his mouth, it is poetry... and your focus shifts to his soul, not just his "container" (as he refers to one's body).

At the end of this speech, Sean asked for folks to share their most powerful takeaway. I was fascinated to hear how different points resonated with different people. Two favorites...

• "Balanced hugging" -- similar to the way Europeans kiss hello, but hugging on both sides of the body to more fully connect with another person. I'm sure that balanced hugging will now be part of the Boardroom culture. (You can also adopt a miniature version of this practice by doing a two-handed handshake.)

• It isn't our problems that hold us back. It's how we handle those problems. This concept is what inspired the title of Sean's book, Get Off Your “But”. As Sean's mother taught him, pain is inevitable. Eventually, it touches us all. Suffering, however, is optional -- so no excuses.

Now, nearly a week after his presentation, I realize that his most powerful lesson for me was about the dangers of self-talk. Many of us berate ourselves with harsh internal criticism, and Sean impressed on us that it's time to stop. Self-talk affects how we see ourselves. And it affects how others see us -- people pick up on our self-image and treat us accordingly.

Self-talk also affects how we see others. This has been my post-Sean epiphany. The aspects I like least in myself are the things that I am most critical about to my husband and children. I always thought I was being helpful and caring in giving my constructive suggestions for how to do something better. Now I realize that I'm not just criticizing them -- making them feel bad in the process -- I'm also criticizing myself. I'm sorry it took another unpleasant moment with my husband to realize this. (I'm beyond fortunate that he is so forgiving and loving.) The epiphany hit me in the aftermath. And that's when I made a commitment to lighten up on the people I love... and to lighten up on myself too. Twenty-four hours later, it's working. I'm feeling calmer, and rather than filtering my family through my internal chatter of how I would do something better, I'm experiencing them through a lens of love and respect. We've all had a better day, thanks to Sean.