As I write this, I'm feeling very old and very young at the same time. My #2 stepdaughter just graduated from high school.
She was three when I met her. I'm having a tough time reconciling the fact that she is so grown up, and yet I don't feel like I've aged at all (well... not nearly as much as she did).
In addition, there are other emotional transitions in our home right now. My #1 stepdaughter is turning 20 (such a big number!). And my #1 daughter, age 11, will soon be going to sleepaway camp for the first time. The older two girls will also be away for the first month of the summer, and I was having a hard time, not just for me but also on behalf of our youngest (age 7), who will feel lonely missing her sisters. The article I read in The New York Times in April about The Fresh Air Fund could not have been timed better. This organization, founded in 1877, gives “inner-city children the joy of a summer vacation with volunteer host families and at Fund camps, creating unforgettable memories and fresh possibilities” (to quote their web site). Inspired by the impending emptiness and the desire to “do good”, we will be hosting a nine-year-old girl for two weeks in July. And I can't wait.
For information about The Fresh Air Fund: www.freshair.org/
Have you opened your home to an exchange student or visitor from other areas? Share your story.
Jun 22, 2009 at 4:41 AM Wow, the leaving nest, college, more college, yeah my youngest 21, wrapping things up after 4and a half years. Whew, now what?! I type more, breathe better. Good luck to you. P.s. Just don't eat more. ha ha
Jun 22, 2009 at 5:51 PM Amazing how they grow up and we don't seem to notice our growth, until....
The Fresh Air Fund is so cool! I cannot wait to read your follow up story about how the 9 year old's experience- as well as yours and your family's.
Jun 23, 2009 at 11:59 AM What an inspiring title- No one escapes viod. Indeed, we seniors in void drive everyone crazy through our attempts to escape it! Years of personal challenges drive some of us into writing generically. Following my first fiction book " Two First Ladies and A President" I propose to write a non-fiction entitled "Hate and its rewards"- controversial enough! It will cover "hateful actions" of people in the past, with contemporary projections into the present to demonstrate that "Hate" -a negative human emotion does contribute to mankind's progress/social evolution. Would you be kind enough to comment on this concept- even if it is judgemental. Do you have a favorite book to recommend on this topic?
Jun 23, 2009 at 12:39 PM I empathize. My only child (daughter, now 20) just finished her freshman year away at college. I didn't know how to feel or what to do after she left. I enjoyed the freedom but still felt lost for awhile. I filled my void by increasing my writing activities (classes, workshops, actual writing) and, eventually getting a little Teacup Chihuahua. I wrote a piece about the puppy and everyone in my nonfiction group thought I should write a regular blog about my experiences w/my puppy. I wonder how many people would read something like that. I'd like to know.
Jun 23, 2009 at 1:21 PM I recently attended my 55th college reunion. It's funny that I was the only one there who had not aged. Why did that student escorting us on a tour insist on holding doors open for me? And she was a girl.
Jun 23, 2009 at 3:42 PM I know how you feel...life goes by to fast! My #1 stepson is now 39 years old, married with a 2 year old daughter and a baby on the way, My #2 stepson 35 years old, married with a 1 year old daughter. I raised them since 1981 and met them when they were just 9 & 5. My #1 daughter is 24, a college graduate, single and in banking. My baby and #2 daughter is going to be a senior in high school this next school year. After almost 30 years I am no longer chauffering kids around...cherish every moment it goes by in a blink of an eye!
Jun 23, 2009 at 7:14 PM Frank...good for you for not aging as much! You must be living right. Last weekend was my 40 yr. high school reunion and, for some reason I'll never know now, I really wanted to go. I had not gone to a single one of the previous ones and had only seen about 2 of my former classmates in all that time. Everyone says I look 10 yrs. younger than I am and I have only gained 20 lbs. since graduation 40 yrs. ago, while most of my classmates have gained 40 or 50. So, why was I so scared? I don't know, but I ended up getting a 3-day migraine and couldn't make the 6-hr. drive. It's hard to believe that I had a migraine because, to my knowledge, I've never had them before. What in the world made me so afraid? Was it the idea of facing the fact that I am 40 yrs. older and have changed so much? Did I have to take a look at the dreams I may have given up on, or, at least, have become passive about? I believe there is much below the surface that I wasn't ready to deal with...so much of it that it hurt. What a wake-up call to start doing more with my life! It's never too late.
Jun 24, 2009 at 3:01 AM Margie,
I'm 49 and my daughter just graduated from college and my son is in his sophomore year and I remember when I was in college dancing in plastic suits [polyester at the disco]. I know how you feel.
By the way, when I first meet you I was 39!
Jun 24, 2009 at 5:50 AM Can't wait to hear about your experiences with your Fresh Air Fund guest. After the lunch at your house, I told Dave that we were getting a dog and hosting a Fresh Air Fund kid next summer.
Jun 24, 2009 at 6:30 AM Life is like a time-share asset: one enjoys it exclusively in later life after paying off the liabilities of raising the family. That's when my wife and I discovered what we had become since our marriage, 55 years ago. Do we think of those 55 years as a void in our personal life? Certainly, but that filled the void in a different mode of happiness. Now, in later life and on being just two of us together again-alone, we are redicovering ourselves. Is it filling the new void or another illusion? Time will tell. We are enjoying our time-share asset to fill void in retirement by intimate living -this is our last chance on earth.
Jun 25, 2009 at 4:20 AM Kudos to you -- a win/win for the "fresh air" child, you and your youngest daughter.
I know exactly what you mean about feeling both young and old. I feel as if I'm the same as when I met you (but a few wrinkles are a dead give away!).
Jul 8, 2009 at 9:12 AM What a wonderful thing to do--for you, your family and the world!